Sleepless
by MsLanna
Summary: Grargh! Alice-Bug bit me. Short Viggies AlicexHatter,sad mush; post-film.
1. Sleepless

**Note:** I can only see the film in German, so please excuse if I got the quotes wrong.

I'd like to take this ficlet places but I don't know which. So very possibly this is all there'll be to it.

* * *

Sleepless

She woke up.  
Again.  
It was the third time this very night and this night was just the last in an ever growing row. She didn't know why she had woken. It was not the call of nature, neither was it loud noises. Alice stared at the ceiling, considering the options left. There were not many. Something was haunting her sleep. She laid back trying to catch the last shreds of her dream that were floating away like gossamer on wind. It was all too elusive.

Animals wearing clothes, now that was plain weird. But had it been a rabbit or was it a hare? White or brown? She couldn't quite remember. Disfigured people, huge mushrooms – maybe she had eaten something wrong? But that would be the sixth? seventh? eight? day in a row. It was just not probable.

There had been eyes following her, huge eyes. Green eyes? Yes, definitely green, a strange, glowing green. With her own eyes closed, she could almost see them, floating in the air, almost as intangible as the rest of her dreams. And they belonged to - a grinning - cat? But cats couldn't grin. _Chessur can._ A small voice called from the back of her mind. So the cat had a name? Curiouser and curiouser.

Did she not have had that kind of dreams before? Alice remembered her father comforting her after one of those nightmares. She had been only seven back then, but there was a quality to the dreams now that linked them to her past. Maybe going to China had been the wrong decision. Maybe she was running again? Though she couldn't for the life of her remember from what.

A huge animal with poisoned teeth. Claw marks on her arm, but that had just been a wild cat. They were almost invisible by now, too. It was amazing how reality blurred into dreams if you allowed your mind to wander. She did not want her mind to wander. She was on a mission and something was missing. Alice was determined to find out what it was. Some days she was so close to finally grasping it that it was frustrating. She knew it was something she should know, something maddingly elusive.

She had been so scared she was going mad when she had been only a child. A laughable notion, really, because how could you go mad if it was only dreams? _What if it was real?_ That inner voice piped up again. Alice sighed. She had come to live with it lately, and had become very good at ignoring it, too. It must be the early hour and her lack of sleep that made it so cheeky.

"But that is impossible," she whispered, giving the words more power by speaking them.

'Only if you believe it is.' The voice startled her upright in the bed. Alice was used to hearing her own voice speaking crazy things in her head, but that - that had not been her voice. She could hear it clear as anything though. She knew it. She couldn't place it, but she knew that voice.

Trying to calm down she closed her eyes. She repeating the words to herself, only in her head, but they sounded definitely different. _There's somebody in my head,_ she thought frantically. _No wonder I was afraid to go mad._

'... as mad as a hatter. Which luckily, I am!'

Alice put her hands over her ears trying to shut out a sound that only existed inside her head. There was no face to go with the voice, only a feeling. A chameleon rainbow on white. Another set of green eyes. Ginger. Ginger? Somehow the association of the spice, however delicious, did not seem to fit.

'Ginger tea; exceptionally exquisite, my dearest. Of course you are awfully late again.'

"Stop that," she whispered. "I don't want to go mad."

'Well, it might be a bit too late for that now, might it not? Anyway, how can I stop myself, seeing how I am but a figment of your imagination and thus only exist in your head which makes you very responsible all on your own for stopping.'

He head perked up. The image of a balcony at night flitted through her mind like a mirage, an impossible country stretching below her. It was not from the performance of 'Romeo and Juliet' she had seen lately. Besides it had the distinct feeling of Romeo not coming from below but actually - behind? Despite herself, Alice turned to find herself staring at the carved head of her bed and the wall behind. Stupid, really.

_I will miss you when I wake up._ The sentence hung before her.

'You won't remember me.' He was definitely sad.

Pulling up her legs, Alice laid her head on her knees, curling up tightly. They had both been right. She certainly missed – something and try as she might she could not remember. And now something was haunting her dreams.

No, not something, someone.


	2. Sleepless Madness

Sleepless Madness

He woke up.  
Again.  
It was the third time this very night and this night was just the last in an ever growing row. He knew exactly why he had woken. It was not the call of nature, neither was it loud noises. Tarrant stared at the ceiling, unwilling to linger on the subject. Something was haunting his sleep. The last shreds of his dream tried to catch up to him, tentatively, but persistent like cobwebs.

It was the Jabberwocky. Lately his dreams were full of the Jabberwocky. There was also a fair amount of running and fighting, but mostly it was the Jabberwocky. If he got lucky it was towering over Alice, just the right size and her muchness back in full, the Vorpal Sword ready. It was a nice image considering the inevitable events following.

He preferred to consider nicer things, possibly starting with 'h' and further from the final battle.

_Hanging_. Alice hanging from the brim of his hat. That was a nice image, even with Bayard and the Knave of Hearts on his heels

_Hat_ was also a very nice image. Not only because he made the best of those, the most beautiful and extravagant and being a hatter required an implicit fondness of hats, but also, because in her tiny size, Alice made a perfect ornament for his hat.

_Helpless,_ because she was and then wasn't at all.

_Hopeless_ – he usually skipped that one.

_Happy_, because he hoped she was.

_Huddling_. It was an image that snuck up to him now and then, a very nice, if guilty, image, because that was what Alice had not been doing when he opened the teapot, but ended up doing rather quickly once he had. It was a very nice image indeed.

But now he got the Jabberwocky and it definitely did not start with an 'h'. Of course he had to admit it never looked better than when bearing down on Alice. Anything looked good on Alice, even the Jabberwocky.

Should have done it right, a voice in his head spoke up and the rest agreed in a loud chorus. Now it was too late. "Only if you believe it is," he whispered, giving the words more power by speaking them.

Tarrant was not good at believing impossible things, there were just not enough of them. When everything was possible, you were pretty crazy. So far, that had not posed much of a problem. Now – now he needed something impossible to believe in and there were no small impossibilities to practice on.

'How could I ever forget you?'

In comparison it was a small impossibility, but on its own it was huge enough. Trying to remember he closed his eyes. He repeated the words to himself, only in his head, but they sounded definitely different. _There's somebody in my heart,_ he thought finally. _No wonder I am mad.__ As mad as a hatter._

Tarrant put an arm over his eyes, trying to hold on to a face that remained only inside his head. There was a feeling accompanied by it, a rainbow butterfly of changing size.

'I will miss you when I wake up.'

He had tried to dismiss it since he heard it. It was worse than the Jabberwocky, worse than Underland ruled by the Red Queen, worse than the word starting with 'h' he usually skipped, because it didn't have its second half. It was worse than a lie because she had meant it.

"You don't remember me." He was definitely sad.

Turning over he pulled the pillow over his head. He had been right. He certainly missed her but she did not remember. And now something was haunting his dreams.

If only it had not been the Jabberwocky.


End file.
